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8 Reasons Swedes Brutally Butcher their Christmas Trees

Kajsa hacksaws the branches off a Christmas tree.

Kajsa hacksaws the branches off a Christmas tree.

Standard trash chute installed in apartments in Sweden after the 1930s.

Standard trash chute installed in apartments in Sweden after the 1930s.

1. Because they have to:

44% percent of Swedes live in apartment buildings according to the Yearbook of Housing and Building Statistics 2012 reported by Statistics Sweden.

By the 1930s apartment buildings had trash disposal chutes on every floor.

So you must be able to fit your tree into the small trash chute.

Naturally, therefore, you would cut your tree down, bundling it into small manageable parcels fitting them into the small circular trash chute, piece by piece, by piece.

2. Easy and more efficientIt’s easier to hack it down piece by piece as opposed to dragging it down a staircase or onto the elevator. Hauling the entire tree risks back injury where as carefully cutting it up creates small manageable packages, which can easily be carried off, although laborious is less likely to risk injury.
3. Emotionally comforting Disassembling a tree segment by segment connects to Swedes’ cultural need for order reflects  their emotional operating systems.Their Christmas tree disposal method parallels the way they manage their feelings compartmentalizing them into small packages and discreetly disposing of them in a bin.

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4. Swinging an ax in the living room is Fun!
Chopping up the tree in the living room is the closest most Swedes will get to being a lumberjack or working with their hands.

According to a labor force survey in 2012, Statistics Sweden reported that of the approximately 4.7 million Swedes in the work force only 1.7 are blue-collar workers.

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5. Small but organized mess
Swedes are very tidy people so this offers an opportunity to make a mess yet an efficient one. Hacking a tree up centralizes the mess, making it easier to vacuum up a ring of fallen dead needles as oppose to following up the trail of needles to the front door.

As you sever off each branch with a small ax, X-ACTO blade, saw, or even a serrated bread knife the ring of fallen dead needles grow until you stand encircled by the equivalent of the Christmas tree’s pool of blood. I suppose this offers the efficient element, as it is easier to vacuum up a concentrated amount of needles then follow the trail of needle to the front door with the vacuum.

 

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6. Opportunity to go Viking orBerserker

Swedes are a reserved group.  With the exception of New Year’s Eve and Mid Summer parties they rarely let loose. Hacking up a tree with a blade or ax let’s them regress to their Viking raider selves.

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7. Tree size envy: Swedes generally don’t engage in boasting or bragging

Bagging your tree conceals the size of your tree to your neighbors and avoids awkward comparisons.

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8. It’s gangster:

Chopping up a former living thing into pieces and shoving it in bags for disposal is the closest thing a Swede can get to criminal mafia type activity.

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