8 Reasons Swedes Brutally Butcher their Christmas Trees
1. Because they have to:
44% percent of Swedes live in apartment buildings according to the Yearbook of Housing and Building Statistics 2012 reported by Statistics Sweden.
By the 1930s apartment buildings had trash disposal chutes on every floor.
So you must be able to fit your tree into the small trash chute.
Naturally, therefore, you would cut your tree down, bundling it into small manageable parcels fitting them into the small circular trash chute, piece by piece, by piece.
4. Swinging an ax in the living room is Fun!
Chopping up the tree in the living room is the closest most Swedes will get to being a lumberjack or working with their hands.
According to a labor force survey in 2012, Statistics Sweden reported that of the approximately 4.7 million Swedes in the work force only 1.7 are blue-collar workers.
5. Small but organized mess
Swedes are very tidy people so this offers an opportunity to make a mess yet an efficient one. Hacking a tree up centralizes the mess, making it easier to vacuum up a ring of fallen dead needles as oppose to following up the trail of needles to the front door.
As you sever off each branch with a small ax, X-ACTO blade, saw, or even a serrated bread knife the ring of fallen dead needles grow until you stand encircled by the equivalent of the Christmas tree’s pool of blood. I suppose this offers the efficient element, as it is easier to vacuum up a concentrated amount of needles then follow the trail of needle to the front door with the vacuum.
6. Opportunity to go Viking orBerserker
Swedes are a reserved group. With the exception of New Year’s Eve and Mid Summer parties they rarely let loose. Hacking up a tree with a blade or ax let’s them regress to their Viking raider selves.
7. Tree size envy: Swedes generally don’t engage in boasting or bragging
Bagging your tree conceals the size of your tree to your neighbors and avoids awkward comparisons.
8. It’s gangster:
Chopping up a former living thing into pieces and shoving it in bags for disposal is the closest thing a Swede can get to criminal mafia type activity.